When I lived in Oregon, I worked in the Sporting Goods/Fitness section of Sears...looking back, that was probably the best job I ever had. It was little bit boring...I had a ton of time to just sit and think and write.
Today, I was going through my trunk, looking for something (okay, okay, it was wart remover...) and I came across this piece of paper, written on the back of a Lawn and Garden rebate form. In case anyone was wondering, I wrote this while standing on a Proform A something something treadmill...it cost about $799 and was my favorite spot to stand in the whole department. I could lean against the hand rails and watch everyone in the L&G and Tools departments....good times...even if I didn't know it then.
It is the image that becomes the biggest chore. Overcoming the enigma of life and breaking through to the core of the situation. It's getting to the intuition; the feeling; the heart. I often think that it isn't the situation that matters so much--the who, the what, the when, the where, the why--but the voice that follows it. The name will be reused. The spot recycled--the words twisted and turned in memory's eye. But the feeling will be unique. The feeling that come in the dream was so real--so comforting--so much its own feeling...and yet, it was only a dream. Dreams come and go--intangible--an image which becomes a chore to overcome. Because a dream is not simply a whisper. It's the reality of unique feeling breaking through to life's most deviating, most changing surface--the conscience.
__________
But what of the brave?
What of the lowly of heart?
Dust to dust and
Ashes to ashes--
Their hearts remain.
Enduring through the
Centuries they are more
than just words in stories--
they are the encompassment
of life.
_________
We all have a past--eventually it catches up with us in this game of cat and mouse. In those moments we become our worst enemies are the moments when it is displayed before the world.
who is hillbilly flyer?
3 weeks ago
2 comments:
Beautiful. So true. Sometimes I hate that the past existed at all, but then you find it made you who you are, so it is worth addressing.
More than worth addressing, even, I think. It's something that we should be proud of. Everything from your past, like you said, has made you exactly who you are--and if we're not all to the point yet where we can be proud of who we are, then we need to change that, so that we can become proud, become sure, and become reconciled with whatever demons we may still be afraid of in the dark.
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